Do you have a weight scale in your house somewhere? How often do you step on it? Or maybe you see it and run the other way? Well if you’re anything like me, you find yourself stepping on it multiple times a day. Wake up, weigh myself, go through the day, come home, weigh myself, get ready for bed, weigh myself, and repeat. As the number on the scale fluctuates up and down, so does my mind. Some days I see that number and absolutely hate myself. Other days, I see it and think, “Damn girl!” But mostly, I feel sad, like I should be working out instead of whatever else I’m doing. It’s honestly an exhausting feeling to constantly be at war with myself. And as I sit here throwing myself a pity party, I also know that I can’t be the only one.
Every single day I think about a new workout routine, and every single day I fail to even start anything. Now don’t get me wrong, I love working out. I love lifting weights and running on a treadmill. The only problem is, I don’t have any of that here. I don’t have a gym close by, and don’t own a treadmill. I have two 10 lb. weights and a 20 lb. kettleball. During school, there’s a gym with glorious weights and cardio equipment, there’s a pool on campus I can swim in for free, and there’s rooms I can use to do my own thing if I want t do a Zumba routine. With all these resources at my fingertips, why do I keep failing?
Here’s why: my main reason for failure I believe is being surrounded by negative people. My skinny friends talk about being fat, my fat friends talk about being fat, so of course I’m going to be questioning my own body. Whenever I read a post about someone who successfully has lost weight or adopted a healthy lifestyle, I notice a pattern: they all mention their support system. Whether it’s your best friend, your S/O, your family, your child, your dogs, whoever, I truly believe that every person going through any sort of journey needs to have someone supporting them. So think about it, who do you turn to on the bad days?
I’m lucky enough to have Adam as my support system. He is my best friend and S/O all in one. When I say things like, “I’m going to start eating healthy!” Or, ” I’m going to start going to the gym to lose weight.”, he always responds with something like, “We can go to Kroger tonight and buy stuff.” Or, “You’ll feel better when you start exercising.” He supports what I want to do, without giving me that, “You don’t need to work out you’re not fat” bullshit. We as a couple understand that eating healthy and exercising has nothing to do with how we look, but more about how we feel. After six years of my weight fluctuating, this man has seen me several ways and is still here supporting me. Most importantly, supporting my failures. Your support system shouldn’t make you feel bad when you don’t reach your goal. They should help you push harder next time. Finding healthy ways to communicate with someone who is struggling with their weight is almost more important than your actions.
Being mentally stable has a huge impact on whether or not your goals can be reached. If you’re looking in the mirror, grabbing your rolls saying, “I’m never going to lose this”, chances are, you’re going to give up way too soon because it doesn’t go away overnight. Having a positive attitude and outlook on what you’re doing and where you want to be can change everything. Try saying, “Wow, if I run 3 times a week, I’ll be able to run a full mile in no time!” See how much more encouraging that sounds?
Your mind can be a dangerous thing when it comes to people with body issues. I can’t count the times I’ve lay awake at night upset over what I ate that day or not working out. If I step on the scale, I’ll cry over the number. Most recently I’ve been struggling with fitting into my jeans. Jeans are something I have to have for work and for school. Not fitting into them has been really stressful for me, so I wear yoga pants instead. It’s a constant struggle of me saying, “I need to do this”, and actually doing it. And I know that it seems like I’ve somewhat got my shit together, but I really don’t.
That being said, I’d like to say that I really have no place telling anyone what to do or how to lose weight. But what I’m going to do for myself is this: I’m going to hide my weight scale. That number does nothing but make me feel bad and anxious. I’m also going to eat more as well as more healthy foods versus eating on the buffet at work all the time. I’m going to set a goal to exercise 3 times a week doing exercises I enjoy versus things that I dread. I will make working out fun, make my healthy meals taste delicious with natural herbs and spices, and say F YOU to that stupid plate of glass on my bathroom floor that has made me feel so bad for so long.