The Scale: My Own Worst Enemy

Do you have a weight scale in your house somewhere? How often do you step on it? Or maybe you see it and run the other way? Well if you’re anything like me, you find yourself stepping on it multiple times a day. Wake up, weigh myself, go through the day, come home, weigh myself, get ready for bed, weigh myself, and repeat. As the number on the scale fluctuates up and down, so does my mind. Some days I see that number and absolutely hate myself. Other days, I see it and think, “Damn girl!” But mostly, I feel sad, like I should be working out instead of whatever else I’m doing. It’s honestly an exhausting feeling to constantly be at war with myself. And as I sit here throwing myself a pity party, I also know that I can’t be the only one.

Every single day I think about a new workout routine, and every single day I fail to even start anything. Now don’t get me wrong, I love working out. I love lifting weights and running on a treadmill. The only problem is, I don’t have any of that here. I don’t have a gym close by, and don’t own a treadmill. I have two 10 lb. weights and a 20 lb. kettleball. During school, there’s a gym with glorious weights and cardio equipment, there’s a pool on campus I can swim in for free, and there’s rooms I can use to do my own thing if I want t do a Zumba routine. With all these resources at my fingertips, why do I keep failing?

Here’s why: my main reason for failure I believe is being surrounded by negative people. My skinny friends talk about being fat, my fat friends talk about being fat, so of course I’m going to be questioning my own body. Whenever I read a post about someone who successfully has lost weight or adopted a healthy lifestyle, I notice a pattern: they all mention their support system. Whether it’s your best friend, your S/O, your family, your child, your dogs, whoever, I truly believe that every person going through any sort of journey needs to have someone supporting them. So think about it, who do you turn to on the bad days? 

I’m lucky enough to have Adam as my support system. He is my best friend and S/O all in one. When I say things like, “I’m going to start eating healthy!” Or, ” I’m going to start going to the gym to lose weight.”, he always responds with something like, “We can go to Kroger tonight and buy stuff.” Or, “You’ll feel better when you start exercising.” He supports what I want to do, without giving me that, “You don’t need to work out you’re not fat” bullshit. We as a couple understand that eating healthy and exercising has nothing to do with how we look, but more about how we feel. After six years of my weight fluctuating, this man has seen me several ways and is still here supporting me. Most importantly, supporting my failures. Your support system shouldn’t make you feel bad when you don’t reach your goal. They should help you push harder next time. Finding healthy ways to communicate with someone who is struggling with their weight is almost more important than your actions. 

Being mentally stable has a huge impact on whether or not your goals can be reached. If you’re looking in the mirror, grabbing your rolls saying, “I’m never going to lose this”, chances are, you’re going to give up way too soon because it doesn’t go away overnight. Having a positive attitude and outlook on what you’re doing and where you want to be can change everything. Try saying, “Wow, if I run 3 times a week, I’ll be able to run a full mile in no time!” See how much more encouraging that sounds? 

Your mind can be a dangerous thing when it comes to people with body issues. I can’t count the times I’ve lay awake at night upset over what I ate that day or not working out. If I step on the scale, I’ll cry over the number. Most recently I’ve been struggling with fitting into my jeans. Jeans are something I have to have for work and for school. Not fitting into them has been really stressful for me, so I wear yoga pants instead. It’s a constant struggle of me saying, “I need to do this”, and actually doing it. And I know that it seems like I’ve somewhat got my shit together, but I really don’t. 

That being said, I’d like to say that I really have no place telling anyone what to do or how to lose weight. But what I’m going to do for myself is this: I’m going to hide my weight scale. That number does nothing but make me feel bad and anxious. I’m also going to eat more as well as more healthy foods versus eating on the buffet at work all the time. I’m going to set a goal to exercise 3 times a week doing exercises I enjoy versus things that I dread. I will make working out fun, make my healthy meals taste delicious with natural herbs and spices, and say F YOU to that stupid plate of glass on my bathroom floor that has made me feel so bad for so long. 


Why My 1 Week Social Media Cleanse Turned Into 2 Years

Social-Media-PNG-FileI look around everywhere and everyone I see is scrolling through Facebook or posting pics to Insta. At 21 years old, you would assume that I am the same way; and I was. I was overly obsessed with checking my Twitter timeline and constantly scrolling through Facebook and seeing the same things over and over. I will admit that I never got into Instagram much. The idea of having to post a picture every time you made a post was and still is annoying to me.

My favorite app ever created is Pinterest.  pinterest_1475538227_280.jpg  So one day I was scrolling through ideas and saw a pin about a girl who did a “One Week Social Media Cleanse”. She talked about how much more time she had to do things she enjoyed and how much happier she seemed. I thought, “Why not?”

That day, I deleted the medias I used which were Twitter and Facebook. At first I was bored out of my mind. I was constantly staring at my cell phone thinking “Wtf am I supposed to do now?” Well that all became clear in the next weeks to come.

When I was little, I loved art. I loved to paint, draw, and do all sorts of crafts. With my new found time, I started all that up again. Painting slates, making bows, wreaths, using my Dremel. I’m always making something nowadays. I go outside so much more, sometimes not even to do anything, just to sit outside in the sun or walk in the woods. I’ve taken up mushroom hunting. 18-mushrooms.pngI have an identification book I’ll take out and find different mushrooms in the woods. My knowledge of edible plants is now so much more advanced than before. My dog is happier too because I spend so much more time outdoors. Win win for us both.

When I stopped checking social media multiple times a day, and stopped being so wrapped up in and concerned with everyone else’s lives, I became more connected to my own.20160702_120355.jpg My relationship has never been better than it is right now. Adam and I have been together 6 years this October, and without needing to be on WiFi all the time, we have done so much more and I’ve been able to enjoy the things around me instead of the tiny screen in my pocket. Half of the time, I hardly have my phone even out or on me at all. Adam and I have been making trails at my mom’s house through the woods, clearing out the invasive Honeysuckle that’s taking over everything in sight, and making fires with our friends every chance we get. The photo on the left was taken last summer at Red Bud Outdoor National Race in Michigan. Our social lives have gotten so much better. I had thought that having Facebook kept me in the loop, but then I thought that if they really wanted me personally to know something, they would text or call me, and what do you know; they did. You truly find out who your friends are when you become unplugged from the internet. Your real friends are the ones that text or call wanting to hang out or tell you about something important that happened that day. I have come to the realization that I was only friends with certain people because I saw them every day at school. After high school, I grew up, but a lot of people I graduated didn’t seem to do the same, and that just wasn’t me.

Without needing to know everyone else’s business, my private life has been just that: private. My close friends and family know my business and that is all. I think that if you’re constantly feeling the need to know everyone else’s sh*t, then you need to step back and ask yourself why.

Now don’t get me wrong, the service is fantastic for people you still dearly love but never see. Whether they moved out-of-state or something else, this gives them the chance to show everyone their new house or newest grand baby without individually texting each person. Although it takes the personal feel away, it is convenient in a pinch.

Basically my point in a nutshell is that when you disconnect from the virtual and get back in touch with reality and the things around you, life becomes so much more exciting. Focus on your own lives, and the people you truly care for. Wasting your time evil-internet-3663073complaining over something someone Tweeted about that may or probably wasn’t even directed at you is really just a downer. Your life is your own. You have the ability to control the things people know and do not know, what is public and what is private. In my Facebook days, I can remember people posting about how sick they felt that day and how they spent their day on the toilet! Why is that something that needs to be made public????? I am not saying that every person who uses social media is out for attention, but some people really make it seem that way. When you strive less for attention, and more for what makes YOU personally happy, your life becomes so much easier and so much more relaxing.

So here I am, challenging everyone to do a 1 Week Social Media Cleanse, and who knows, maybe your 1 week will turn into almost 2 years like mine did!